Have you ever walked into a family gathering and noticed how quiet it is? It is not the quiet of people enjoying each other’s company.
Instead, it is the silence of a “digital trap.” In many homes across Kigali and throughout Rwanda, children and teenagers sit together but do not say a word. They are busy tapping away on phones they have borrowed from their parents, older siblings, or relatives.
I have seen this in my own home. My children often struggle to get hold of my phone, and I have had to make my mobile device a “no-go zone” for them.
It is a daily battle. Many mothers feel this pressure even more—sometimes it is just easier to hand over the phone so the child stops crying or pestering. But this “easy fix” is creating a huge puzzle that our families will have to solve very soon.
The problem with the “quiet child”
Let’s be honest: when a parent gives a child a phone and internet just to keep them quiet, they are making a dangerous deal. We think we are giving them a toy, but we are actually handing them a “digital pacifier.”
While parents think their kids are just watching innocent cartoons or Disney channels, the internet is full of traps.
One video leads to another, and soon, a child can end up seeing things that are violent, scary, or completely inappropriate for their age. By the time we notice, the damage to their young minds is already done.
Spending too much time on the internet does not just waste time—it actually changes how a child’s brain works. Here is why it is dangerous:
Losing the ability to focus: On social media, everything is fast. This makes the brain “lazy.” When a student sits down to do math or read a book, they find it hard to concentrate because the book does not “scroll” or give them a “like.”
Forgetting how to talk: Communication is like a muscle—you have to use it to keep it strong. If a child spends a family party looking at a screen instead of talking to their aunts, uncles, and cousins, they never learn how to be social or how to feel empathy for others.
Becoming passive: Instead of playing outside or using their imagination to create games, children become passive. They just sit and consume what others have made.
Why the Ministry’s proposed law is good news
This is why the move by the Ministry of ICT and Innovation to consider a law limiting social media for those under 16 years old is so important. It is not about taking away fun. It is instead, about protecting the next generation.
If this law came into force, it would help parents in many ways. It gives us a standard to follow so we do not feel like we are the “bad guys” alone. The proposed law sends a clear message: Our children’s health and their future are more important than any app.
To the parents, here is a kind reminder: A crying child is better than a child lost in the world of the internet.
Let US stop using phones to keep kids busy. Let us bring back the old days of playing outside and talking to each other.
For the teens, this is your law. It is to make sure you grow up with a strong mind, a focused brain, and real friends you can talk to in person—not just “followers” on a screen.
Rwanda’s future leaders won’t be made on TikTok or Instagram. They will be made in our homes, our schools, and our playgrounds. Let us put the phones down and start talking again.
The Writer, Dan Ngabonziza, is the Managing Director, Kigali Today Ltd, the parent company of KT Press, KT Radio 96.7FM, KigaliToday.com (Kinyarwanda) and Kigali Today TV channel.
